first person: TONI PEAREN TALKS ABOUT TURNING 50

TALENTED ACTRESS AND MUSICIAN, HOT MUMMA, GORGEOUS FRIEND and bM contributor, Toni Pearen has just turned 50! {Seriously can’t believe it!} Here shares with us how she’s feeling about her significant birthday…

“A funny thing happened. I turned 50! It still feels like a terrible joke but what’s the punch line? A
middle-aged woman walked into a bar, had one drink, went home before 9pm, had a sleepy tea and 8
hrs sleep. Not so funny really.

I’ve always been aware of ageing. Growing up in the entertainment industry I’ve always been on
the wrong side of something. Too old to be a young mum, too young to be old. If I got Botox every
time someone told me “it’s a wrinkle preventive” and “it will look so natural you’ll barely notice it” I
would not look a minute over 20!!!!

I’ve never been afraid to age. I consider it a privilege. My mum died at 62. Once you’ve faced
death of someone you considered eternal, it puts a hell of a lot into perspective. That’s why I
consider it a gift. A gift to understand the meaning of life and what’s important……….but as my
mum told me “ ageing is not for the faint-hearted”.

I had an ageing epiphany in my late 20’s when I was pursuing my American Music Dream. After
being shopped around to various record companies when Britney was dressed as a school girl and
Natalie was Torn, I was considered too old to be signed. Every record company I met with I was
advised to look younger, be younger, stay young! Hollywood is the land of the eternally young and
if I wanted to grow up, Hollywood was proving to not be the place. I moved back home to Australia
just before my 30th birthday. I was relieved. Relieved I could finally be my age.

The older I get, I realise, life is an adventure, full of twists and turns. Life- affirming moments and
tragedy. Optimism and struggles. It was not meant to be an easy ride. It’s a suitcase full of
memories, good and bad. These wrinkles on my face are a legacy of my life. My body may not look
how it once did but hey, I didn’t appreciate it 30 years ago anyway. That’s the great thing about
ageing, the more experiences, the more perspective.

Now I’m 50, I will no longer live up to others ideals about what’s perfect or acceptable. I’m healthy and capable of anything I put my mind to. As my kids watch me age I want them to know it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of. I want them to see me love my body and my life. Challenging myself. Trying new things. Getting joy out of the simple pleasures and not obsessing about what’s on the outside. What’s the worst that could happen, right?

As I face the next 50 I want to step out of my comfort zone, not in it. I want to challenge myself and
not choose comfortable. I want to be out and proud about my age and not embarrassed by it. After
all, it’s just a number!”

Toni x

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twitter: twitter.com/tonipearen
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