Feel like you’re still languishing? HERE’S HOW TO OVERCOME IT

IF YOU’RE FEELING EXHAUSTED, TIRED, AND LACKING ENERGY EVEN THOUGH YOUR WORK IS STILL GOING WELL AND YOUR PERSONAL LIFE SEEMS FINE, YOU’RE NOT ALONE! You are, in fact, suffering from the pandemic-related feeling ‘languishing’ says bellamumma contributor and Personal and Business Coach, Brendan Higgins. Here’s what he suggests you do to overcome it…

The New York Times has published two articles on “languishing” just in the past few weeks. And, yes, this is indeed what you are going through. In fact, an enormous number of people are going through this at the moment.

So, why are we feeling this way when we are all being told that the economy is strong, and our lives are good and we feel like we don’t really have anything to complain about? The answer is, oddly straightforward – unpredictability.

We are all experiencing a world that is dramatically less predictable than it was 18 months ago. And the last 18 months, for so many of us, have been filled with vast changes and huge and continual adjustments and the looming threat of an illness that could be anything from mild to terrifyingly fatal.

Goals in an unpredictable world

The late, great Professor Tony Grant (Coaching Psych Unit USYD) in his research showed that making goals that had too many contingencies was a sign of languishing, might even be a cause of languishing. Right now, so many of our important goals depend on huge numbers of things we simply can’t be certain about – far more than before Covid.
This will always make us feel stuck and unable to find the energy to move forward – we feel like we might end up wasting our time and energy. But we keep setting goals, making plans, because that’s what we’ve always done – even when we feel they are pretty meaningless.

Getting back your mojo

So, what’s the solution? How do we move forward again, stop feeling tired and find some more energy?

1. Work out what’s certain in our lives. There have always been uncertainties and the unpredictable. It’s just that these have changed in the last 18 months and may change again. This is always unsettling. So, what do we know? What can we be certain of? Quite a lot of things we take for granted, as it happens and it is worth listing those. Write them all down and you will be surprised how much you actually have control over in your life at the moment.

2. What do you do in your life and work that make you feel happy and energised?
These are your real strengths. What have you done in the past but are not doing now? Write as many of these things down as you can. Then work out if, and how, you are using/doing these things now. How are you applying these things in your life and work? How could you apply these things, especially the ones you have stopped doing/using?

3. Make goals that can adjust as you need to. Now you know what you need to be doing to rebuild that energy, your goals should encompass those strengths and certainties as much as they can. You will need to break down big goals that have big contingencies into smaller goals or milestones that you can be comfortable you can achieve, and that allow you to reassess the next milestone, or even the big goal, as you move from milestone to milestone.

I’m too exhausted to do anything!

If all this is too much or if you just feel too tired and stuck, ask yourself this:
What’s the smallest thing I can do right now, the 30-second thing, the 10-second thing that will make me feel I am moving forward? {And do that!}

About Brendan Higgins

B.Com (Industrial Relations) UNSW; BDA (NIDA); MSc (Coaching Psychology) USYD.

Brendan Higgins is a coach and consultant with a track record of bringing out the best in individuals and teams. Drawing on his diverse experiences that stretch from operational leadership in IT and HR, to change management coaching to professional acting, he brings a unique and strategic approach to building success at every level of an organisation. He has delivered outstanding results across all areas of management, including directors at board level. As a catalyst for innovation and creativity, Brendan leverages his diverse background, through his coaching, to work with organisations in expanding their capacity for developing new and innovative ideas.

Visit The Vision Thing for more details and to connect
And follow him on Facebook here

{Top image: Fashion Gone Rogue}