You’re in bed. You’re exhausted. And your brain will not stop. Here’s what’s actually happening in your body when that wired-but-tired feeling hits and what to do about it. Chiropractor, wellness advocate, and friend of bellamumma Samuel Garner breaks it down…
Why Your Body Won’t Let You Sleep {Even When You’re Beyond Tired}
That wired, restless feeling at the end of the day isn’t in your head. It’s in your nervous system. When you finally lie down, your body may still be running on elevated stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline, which keep you in fight-or-flight mode rather than allowing the shift into “rest and digest” that sleep actually needs. The good news is there are ways to interrupt it. And they’re simpler than you might think.
Sam’s Top 3 Go-To Techniques When You Can’t Switch Off
1. Slow breathework and it works fast. Breathe in slowly through your nose for four seconds, then out slowly through your mouth for four seconds. Repeat for a few minutes. When your breath slows, your brain reads it as a signal that it’s safe to relax. It’s one of the quickest ways to shift your nervous system out of that high-alert state.
2. Magnesium in the evening taken about an hour before bed, magnesium helps reduce muscle tension and supports nervous system relaxation. Some formulas also include GABA, a calming compound that can further support that drift into sleep mode. If you haven’t already made it part of your evening, it’s worth trying.
3. A proper wind-down window and this one is often the missing piece. Most people go straight from a busy or stressful evening into bed and wonder why sleep won’t come. The body usually needs 15 to 30 minutes to decelerate. It doesn’t have to be elaborate: dim the lights, do some gentle stretching, read a few pages, or sit quietly. The goal is just to give your nervous system a bridge between the day and sleep.
One underrated wind-down tool? A sauna session in the early evening. The rise and subsequent drop in body temperature that follows mimics the natural cooling process your body goes through as it prepares for sleep, and research suggests it can help you fall asleep faster and reach deeper stages of sleep. It’s one of the many benefits Sam and his team at Sauna Amalfi swear by – if you’re on the Northern Beaches, it’s worth building into your evening routine.
Sleep Position Matters More Than You Think {Here’s What Actually Helps}
From a spinal perspective, side sleeping is generally the most comfortable and lower-strain position for most people, particularly if you carry tension through the neck or back. Sleeping on your stomach is the one to avoid if you can, as it forces the head to rotate for extended periods and places real strain on the neck overnight.
A simple setup that works for a lot of people:
* Sleep in a relaxed foetal position
* Hug a pillow to support your upper body
* Place a pillow or a folded doona between your knees to keep your hips aligned. This helps reduce twisting through the spine and pelvis and allows the body to fully release rather than holding tension all night.
The Right Pillow Setup {This Is The Part Most People Get Wrong}
Your pillow’s job is to keep your neck in line with the rest of your spine: not tilting your head up or down, but neutral. And yet most people give this almost no thought.
A few things worth knowing:
* An orthopaedic or contour pillow can be a good option. These typically have a smaller curve to support the neck and a larger curve for the head. The quick check: your nose should line up with the centre of your sternum, not tilted up and not dropped down.
* Because shoulder width varies so much from person to person, pillow height isn’t one-size-fits-all. Adjustable options like the Complete Sleeprrr let you customise the height to suit your build, which takes the guesswork out of it. Otherwise, it’s worth trying a few different heights in-store.
* If you tend to get shoulder discomfort overnight, a butterfly-style pillow can also help by providing support around the shoulder as well as the neck.
The Mattress Question {What’s Actually Worth It}
A supportive mattress matters, not just for comfort, but because the body is constantly sending signals to the brain about pressure even during sleep. If your spine isn’t well supported, the body can register that as low-level stress, which disrupts sleep quality even when you’re not consciously aware of it.
A firmer, supportive base is generally a good starting point. A few options worth knowing about:
* A pocket spring mattress with a memory foam topper can give you the best of both worlds: spinal support underneath with comfort on top.
* Sealy Posturepedic is a well-known name for supportive options.
* If you’re considering a bed-in-a-box, Eva Mattress is a popular medium-firm choice. If you prefer something softer, it’s worth trying a few in-store before committing.
There’s no one-size-fits-all here. Body shape, sleep position, and personal comfort all play a role. These are starting points, not rules.
If You Wake At 2 Or 3am {What To Do And What To Avoid}
Waking briefly during the night is actually quite normal. The key is not letting your body fully rouse itself. A few things to keep in mind:
* Don’t reach for your phone.
* Light exposure, even from a screen, can signal the brain that it’s time to be awake.
* Keep the room dark and calm.
* Resist the urge to turn on lights or start mentally problem-solving.
* Return to slow breathing or a short mental relaxation to help your nervous system settle back into sleep.
The goal is to keep everything low-stimulus so the body can drift off again naturally.
When To Seek Professional Help {The Red Flags To Know}
Most sleep issues respond well to better habits and a bit of attention to the basics. But there are some signs that it’s worth getting professional support rather than managing it alone:
* Persistent sleep disruption despite genuinely addressing lifestyle factors like light exposure, caffeine, exercise timing and evening wind-down
* Waking regularly with pain or significant stiffness, particularly in the neck, jaw, or lower back
* Loud snoring, frequent night waking, or consistently feeling exhausted despite a full night in bed. These can be signs of sleep apnoea, which should be assessed by a healthcare professional
* Poor sleep that has been ongoing for several weeks, or that is meaningfully affecting your daytime energy, mood, or concentration.
If any of those feel familiar, it might be time to talk to someone.
Connect & Contact
Samuel Garner is a chiropractor at Avalon Beach Chiropractic and Wellness
and co-founder of Sauna Amalfi.
Follow at @avalonbeachchiropractic and @saunaamalfi