“When our minds keep rehearsing troubling interactions, the body’s calming system becomes impaired,” says Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet, a psychologist at Hope College in Holland, Michigan. A cursory or non-felt hug won’t do, though. You have to sincerely replace your anger toward the wrongdoer with a real attempt to understand the reasons behind their actions. “Forgiveness helps you see more of the truth, not less. When we are upset, our vision is limited in scope,” says Witvliet.