HAPPINESS IN A RELATIONSHIP TAKE MORE THAN LUCK
It really takes a conscious effort to put healthy relationship habits into play…
… and even though we know not everything works for every couple, if we were to suggest some ‘happy’ habits, it would be the following 10 things:
1. They don’t complain about their relationship to their friends or family. Happy couples know that it’s best not to involve others in their relationship. They talk directly to each other if an issue arises instead of confiding in others who may provide negative feedback that could hurt the relationship. There’s nothing wrong with healthy girl or guy time, but DON’T use it as an opportunity to complain about your partner. If you do, you’ll only create negativity in your relationship.
2. They don’t compare themselves to others. Happy couples accept and love each other as is. They know that comparing to others is unrealistic (and unfair) and will leave them feeling insecure about their marriage. If you do spend time with other couples and you even see better qualities in another spouse, stay confident and don’t second-guess your choice. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side—even if it looks like it is.
3. They don’t play the victim. Happy couples take responsibility for their feelings and their role in the relationship. They don’t blame each other for their problems. They ask for what they need instead of feeling sorry for themself or blaming their partner for their situation.
4. They don’t take themselves TOO seriously. Happy couples know happiness and fun. They “date” regularly and laugh a lot. Even when life gets extremely stressful, try to keep things light and fun.
5. They don’t criticise. They look for the good in each other, and when they are upset, they learn how to ask for their needs in a sensitive way. Happy couples know that criticism only tears the other down and creates a rupture in their relationship. If you’re partner is doing something that you don’t like, pay attention to why it’s bothering you and learn how to talk about it in a positive way.
6. They don’t ignore their finances. Happy couples know that financial stress puts pressure on a marriage. They stay on top of their money and are in communication about their financial goals so that they can make responsible decisions for their future together. If money is a topic you would rather not discuss, know that avoiding it will make money matters worse.
7. They don’t try to read minds. We all know what people say about someone who assumes. Happy couples know how to communicate so that they’re aware of each other’s needs and feelings. No matter how connected they feel, they don’t expect their partner to know what they want or how they are feeling. They spell it out clearly. If you’re not getting the attention you need, tell your partner.
8. They don’t overshare. Happy couples know that sharing their frustrations are for the purpose of getting their needs met and achieving better connection. They’re intentional about when they share and ask their partner if it’s a good time instead of catching them off-guard, unleashing their upset, and fueling the fire of greater conflict. If you have something to get off your chest, first ask, “I’d like to share something with you. Is now a good time?”
9. They don’t obsess over their roles. Even if they have stereotypical gender roles in their relationship, happy couples are flexible and are able to do necessary tasks immediately—even if it’s not their forté.
10. They don’t nag each other. Happy couples encourage each other instead of pressuring. They find ways to support each other and that support is a natural motivator as opposed to nagging which often backfires.